Hal MacDermot [Celluloid 07.23.08] movie review horror



Year: 2008
Release date: October, 2008 (TBD)
Director: Pete Riski
Writer: Pete Riski, Howard Brodsky, Mika Karttunen, Pekka Lehtosaari, Mr. Lordi, Harri Virtanen and Aretta Vähäläm (phew)
IMDB: link
Trailer: link
Review by: cyberhal
Rating: 6.7 out of 10

A Finnish horror-fantasy, set in a haunted hospital and starring the local hard rock/metal band Lordi, as the monsters? Lordy-lummy guv, I thought that Quiet Earth was pulling my plonker the other day when he said the lads from Lordi appear in this movie in their real stage gear, but it's true, I checked them out on You Tube. Personally, I like their style, it's a kind of retro kitsch cross between Predator and Next Generation Worf. The movie is shot in English and looks good (it's the most expensive Finnish horror movie ever produced), but some of the acting is a little shaky and the dialogue definitely wobbles. Dark Floors is not a perfect movie, I think it has some cool scenes and interesting ideas. The film is on the Ghost House Underground slate and will be released in October through Lionsgate.






Sarah (Skye Bennett) is mentally disturbed little girl, undergoing tests in hospital. Her Dad (Noah Huntley, 28 Days Later) thinks the doctors are messing with her, so he decides to take her home. They enter an elevator with a few other people, but when they exit, the hospital is dark and ghostly. Searching for staff and patients, the group soon finds the bloody remains of both. As the group seeks a way out (Dad, daughter, security guard, pretty nurse, SOB businessman), strange and violent creatures materialize and attack. It seems that the little girl, and "strangely cold" homeless dude, know more than they are letting on.

Much of this movie is spent exploring the different hospital floors, trying to escape. The director makes pretty good use of the neon/shadowy location, although I wouldn't have minded seeing a few of those scary nurses from Silent Hill shaking their booties. Naturally, the group's numbers drop off as they progress. The businessman's fate is the gore highpoint, in a movie that doesn't rely that much on blood. One really cool thing that it seems they're all stuck in some kind of time-loop, and the director plays some of his best trick with that. I didn't fully understand the time-loop, but that doesn't bother me. I also really enjoyed the creeping darkness that kicks in towards the end. BTW, this movie has 7 writers, yes Seven, and that perhaps explains why there are ghosts, demons and zombies, as well as quite a few cool ideas that are not fully exploited – like the complicity between little girl and demons.





As I said, I am fine seeing Mr. Lordi, Amen, OX, Awa and Kita do their metal thing. I was sort of hoping for a kick ass metal soundtrack, but the music is pretty standard "spooky" stuff. As far as I understand, the only Lordi music is Beast Loose In Paradise, over the end credits à la Ironman. Again on sound, I felt like a bigger % of the production millions could have been invested in better voice over work. Acting wise, Skye does a pretty good job as the scary kid, and it's not her fault the scriptwriters make her ask for "a red crayon" about 60 million times. I am looking forward to see how she does in Boy A, a gritty indie/John Crowley flick, which comes out 23 July. Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest, the lamest music competition in the known Universe, in 2006. In 2007, they rocked out on the main stage at the very cool Ozfest. Just like this movie, a mixed legacy, but hey baby, that's rock and roll.

quietearth (3 years ago) Reply

The ending for this was terrible and destroyed the entire film, I give it a 4.

agentorange (3 years ago) Reply

Haha, I have never heard you sound so British, and I quote; "Lordy-lummy guv, I thought that Quiet Earth was pulling my plonker the other day..."

Awesome review man! I haven't had the good fortune to see this yet but it's defintiely on the menu.

Cyberhal (3 years ago) Reply

Thanks AgentO: I'd just had bangers and mash.

QE, 4, no way! How about the cool time loop stuff? How about Lordi?

quietearth (3 years ago) Reply

sorry dude.. the ending ruined the entire thing, I wanted to throw something at the screen

Anonymous (3 years ago) Reply

What about the plot? Help. Please.

wasted80mins (3 years ago) Reply

Waste of time. There is no ending.

Haiden (2 years ago) Reply

could someone try to explain the ending to me?,i thought it was really confusing.. why did she ask for the blue crayon now..why is it as if nothing even happened.I thought the movie was good till the end....i think i cried a little bit.

Anonymous (2 years ago) Reply

does anyone know what the hell the end of the movie meant?? why the kid was the way she was etc. or could at least someone send me a link to a web site that explains what the movie is actually about as i am a little confused and cant seem to find any web site or anything that would be able to tell me what it means.

Mooney (2 years ago) Reply

The ending takes advantage of the paradox. The group are doomed to relive the alternate dimension mix up in the hospital, while Lordi (presumably) continue an onslaught of terror upon everything else, really.

I think it's a great film, the ending is a let down but i did enjoy it and I think it's set to have a cult following, but certainly not a massive one.

I don't think the people behind it saw it as a story telling. More as the audience being onlookers, and I think it works kinda well. I enjoy it, good review. Well done.

Big ballin joe (2 years ago) Reply

here are two different theroies that i have to this movie the little girl is dead and keeps coming back two the one point of the movie whchi is the beginnig to warn the people about lordi wth her drawings bcus if that machine had exploded she would have died also the hobo is dead cus he says hes always cold and i think lordi just makes a continous circle of hell for fun bcus in the end she says she wants to go home in the end the color of the crayon represents a feeling red for blood and deth and blue for compassion and peace The final demon (mr. lordi) represents her illness and untill she confronted it they wuld keep repeating the cycle in the end she confronted it and kinda lifted the evil off the place thats y the hobo dosent feel cold also another theroy is the dad wants to leave the hospital but she dont all these things are by her will and its bcus she wants to leave the hospital by her own choice not by the choice of her father these are all therpoes i think this one makes more sense

Anonymous (2 years ago) Reply

Big ballin joe i think is right because of his/hers first theory of the color of the crayons meaning something and how the little girl is dead and comes back to the start of the movie to warn them with her drawings because thats the one that makes the most sense to me.

Ashley and Sondra (2 years ago) Reply

This movie is definately confusing...however, we just want to know what it meant when the father is outside room 235 in "the light world" while Emily was standing outside room 235 in the "darkside"?? They were both looking at the teddy bear poster... Hmmm?

Our opinion of the ending is that Sarah relives her "dark" experience over and over and over... HOWEVER, Emily said they'd started her on new medicine, therefore....We believe that it was beginning to work and whatever "dark places" her illness was taking her to, had started to fade because she was healing.

Ok. That is what we believe but with so many open ends it's hard to say. The fact the Hobo told her he's not COLD anymore....really just takes our theory and confuses us even further.

Does anybody REALLY REALLY know what ending means? We're embarrassed to say that until we began researching after-the-fact, (hence our obvious confusion), that LORDI was actually a Metal Band playing the dark characters..... I'm glad we didn't know this going into the movie, because they were actually quite frightening at times... (yes, we screamed when he came out of the elevator) I don't think it would've had the same effect had we'd known. We did however, send them a friend request on myspace. Oh, yeah.

Sondra and Ashley :)

Richard (2 years ago) Reply

It was a good movie... I really liked it. However the ending was weird. I do not understand a thing about it. But it was very mean to me.

anji (2 years ago) Reply

Hello all.
This movie puzzled me also, lately though, I've been reading up on Jungian psychological theories & Carl Jung's psychology seems to fit with this movie. The characters who go in the elevator, I think, represent different aspects of the little girls unconscious :-
1. The father & nurse represent both 'great mother' & 'father', anima & animus.
2. Tobias (old hobo man) represents 'wise old man' figure.
3. Security guard: the superficial ego.
4. Business man: the 'persona'
5. The shining little girl at end of movie represents the 'Self'
6. The monster she faces at end of movie represents the 'shadow' aspect.
The fact that they go down a floor in the elevator represents going down into the unconscious mind of the little girl.
The coloured crayons: Colours are on a certain 'spectrum' of light, autistic/asbergers disorders are also known to be on the 'autistic spectrum'- so I think this was a bit of a play on words, also, I think the girl is trying to break out of her autism, become free of it & I think asking for different coloured crayons is representing that she is working hewr way through the autistic 'spectrum' to break free of it. The fact that at the end she askls for the blue crayon, is basically back at the start of movie where she was asking for red crayon instead, so I think this is showing that it is a loop of sorts in that she will work her way through all colours of crayons - Tobias saying he wasn't cold anymore represents that the girl IS slowly freeing herself of autism, as Tobias 'not being cold anymore' represents his/her partial freedom.
Hey, I could be, & I have a feeling that I am terribly wrong in my conclusions, but nothing else seemed to fit for this movie to make sense of.

anji (2 years ago) Reply

The time distortions in the movie, I think, represent that our unconscious/subconscious does not run on the same time as our conscious minds.
The many monsters throughout the movie represent the many 'scary' & hidden things that lurk in our unconscious.

anji (2 years ago) Reply

Room 235-light & dark for the father & the nurse: In dream symbolism(once again the jungian theories comes into play) & lots of different cultures..eg. Native American Indian, Male energy (as in great father or God)is related to light/sun & Female energy (as in Mother nature) is related to dark/moon. I think this scene was just to show that these 2 characters were symbols of the little girls unconscious. The fact that they got separated in the first place to end up outside the same room but in vastly different circumstances is symbolic too. The nurse also says there is only 1 room 235 - so this must be significant - I think it represents either the entrance or maybe exit from the little girls childhood memories as there is a picture of a teddy bear on the wall - Or again in jungian terms it has something to do with the 'child' aspect of the unconscious, or 'child-hero'.
Sorry for such long posts here, Think I'm getting carried away....Time for a cup of coffee methinks...

someone (1 year ago) Reply

Dudes sorry for the late reply LOL but I'm pretty sure Mr. Lordi is making Sarah relive the deaths of his victims to convince her to develop emotions for him (a.k.a. he's in love with the kid,while she doesn't like him due to him being dark,so he's trying to change her mind).

scary movie luvr (8 months ago) Reply

this movie waz cool but the ending waz confusing to me. there r soooo many posts about this movie but none of them help. there r many great conclustions but im very confused! can any one plz help me by telling me wat the heck the ending ment?

bigcitydreams (7 months ago) Reply

this movie reminds me of silent hill.but i still dont understand the ending.?

WTF (7 months ago) Reply

A good ending makes the movie. The ending sucked! The writers did well to this point using B graphics.. Too bad, it would have been more interesting. I believe the writers left it this way to keep people talking about it. Otherwise it was just another below average 1.00 rental. Later

scary movie luvr (7 months ago) Reply

does anyone know wat the freacking ending ment

scary movie luvr (5 months ago) Reply

this movie was soooo good but the endind was confusing and i still dont know wat it ment! and i love scary movies and i usally get wat they are all about and im only 12! ikr im 12 and i under stand alot of scary movies! but this one wat the hell did it mean?

idfk (4 months ago) Reply

i watched this movie twice i have also looked up possibale reasons for the ending for now i take it as one of those movies were u choose what it means its all about how u take it i knoe its wrong but i honestly cant tell >:( nd i also love scary moviess ! but i gues i got to keep researching ...... till i give up -_-

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