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agentorange [Celluloid 10.23.13] apocalyptic thriller adventure history

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Paramount Pictures and Aronofsky are currently battling over the final cut of Noah because of early criticisms following test screenings in New York, Arizona and Orange County. I assume the debate is all about whether or not this film version reflects the true story of the fictional man that nobody really has a clue about. Also, if the film stayed totally true to the written text of the bible, it would be absolutely terrible.

BUT! From what I'm seeing in this trailer the film actually looks utterly unbearable. Okay, so maybe it's not marketing to me, but that Titanic-esque pop song? The cast of big names that all seem not well matched at all. And perhaps most alarming is how boring it feels. Some of the imagery is undeniably stunning, but does it all take place in one glade? Oh man, this feels like a real bummer of a movie.

Some fans are saying that the studio/audiences can't deal with Aronofky's "dark vision," but unless they're talking about lighting I don't see any of that darkness here. This all feels very uplifting with a positive message about doing right against all odds and environmentalism. Black Swan it ain't.

What do you guys think?

Watch the trailer here.



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projectcyclops (10 months ago) Reply

I pretty much agree with you on this agentorange. It's not a good quality trailer, but it does look very overblown and portentous. A film with biblical themes could potentially work in the hands of a director with the right vision, but instead of being about the narrative (which has been shaped over time by the church to fit with orthodox prophecy) or the characters (who are basically mythical cut-outs) it might be more interesting if it were about faith and religious belief as a social phenomenon.

Do we really need another 'gritty' movie full of pompous speeches made by bored A-listers? The Noah character is so ripe with potential, so why make him a boring, stoic family man with an Australian accent and an unrealistically beautiful and supportive family?

It looks like Aronofky's dropped the ball a bit here. That song is indeed very cheesy, and the whole thing looks like 'Evan Almighty' without the (excruciatingly bad) jokes, by way of Ridley Scott.

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agentorange (10 months ago) Reply

"full of pompous speeches made by bored A-listers?"

This is what struck me the most.

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AM (5 months ago) Reply

OMG have just seen the movie 'Noah'...this movie was the soooo boring...in fact it was excrutiating to watch...was intrigued by the concept and so disappointed with the reality...it was cheesy and cliche....there wasn't a single likeable character (I guess that's ok) but hell I'd pay not to be on the ark with that lot!!! Seriously badly written with camera shots and character actions that were pretty random at times e.g. methusala going on about berries and then finding a berry to eat and looking up with a smile waiting to be engulfed by water...some shots of nature looked like youtube National Geographic National Geographic videos...and in terms of style think...post-apocolyptic meets evil Narnia meets LOTR Treebeard meets Pacific Rim...meets Shakepeare's Richard the Third meets Saw 2. A mess. I wish I had not spent my money.

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Marina (10 months ago) Reply

I don't think it looks *that* terrible. Seems to me the trailer is pretty poorly cut.

I love the crowd reaction when Aronofsky's name comes on screen.

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spoon man (10 months ago) Reply

I liked it better when it was "Take Shelter".

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11pmhitreturn (10 months ago) Reply

ha. nice. 'There is a storm coming...'

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Koolz (10 months ago) Reply

Noah should be like King Lear, a tragedy. Noah is not the first Noah has the flood happened and was recorded in Sumeria. But I try and think of a way to create great film based on silly bible's accounts of events and I think Noah as a tragic man trying to save everyone with out anyone realizing his madness. Then The Flood comes. and Noah some how gathers every beast , insect, and forget it's impossible.

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wtf (10 months ago) Reply

beside the fact that the whole story is bullshit from a fictional conglomerate of fancy tales called the "bible"... yeah, the trailer is terrible and i am just guessing that some actors REEEEALLY seem to need money these days. no one wants to watch that shit.

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dc (10 months ago) Reply

All of you are hacks.

Sorry it can't be some lame Asian film or another bit of super hero dribble.

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rek (10 months ago) Reply

Why the hell is the trailer presenting this fictional story as actual history?

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donc48 (10 months ago) Reply

Ok I just saw a trailer and don't get the hating. The video quality sucked big time. Movies are subjective this isn't going to appeal to people with a deep hostility towards religion. If your that hostile towards religion don't see a trailer called Noah, then bitch about it. I think it's a little early to start flaming this flick. Russell seems to be a better judge of scripts than most leading actors. I may not see this thing but I'm going to wait until I see a better quality trailer.

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KHWADI (10 months ago) Reply

I love a good fantasy story, I will see it. I hope its IMAX3D,lol.

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loempiavreter (10 months ago) Reply

Lol at all regarding the events as bullshit, close minded thoughts.

Not the whole world flooded just the world the Sumerians knew, because to them that was the world. It's an possibilty, since you know a lot of of the first half of the Old Testament is taken from Sumerian lore like, creating earth in 7 days, Adam & Eve and the Apple tree (Adamu & Tiamat and the Pomegranate tree, also their sons Kaïn and Abeal). The 10 kings of sumeria with their exaggerated ages like the exaggerated ages of 10 kigns of sumeria vs the 10 Hebrew Patriarchs with als exaggerated ages.

As well as the flood, which happend also in Gilgamesh.

A lot of stuff in the Bible sound ridiculous when you imagine with a western POV, but try taking the POV into mesopotanië and stuff like the Tower of babel makes more sense (Babylon conquering more land encountering more strange cultures and language which happend at the same time as the Tower was build).

BIG PROBLEM WITH THIS MOVIE:

All the white boys and girls... it happend in Sumeria. Long live Hollywood for casting another white cast for something that should've been more ethnic correct. Als oclothes don't really look sumerian age.

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rek (10 months ago) Reply

Nobody disputes the fact that river valleys flood now and then. But is that the story of Noah? That a river overflowed its banks? Is that the story this trailer presents as historical?

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Koolz (10 months ago) Reply

what does a movie need to be successful?
First it needs good characters
Second it needs a conflict that those characters and world or place deal with.
What the heck with Noah? The Conflict is the flood coming and Noah building some big boat to save something.
How interesting will this movie be if it tries and follows that silly book the Esoteric Written Bible?
Jews Own Hollywood This is nothing but them pushing there BS that Israel is the center of everything and the Bible is real account of history.

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mentd (9 months ago) Reply

CGI animals = EPIC FAIL
I wish people would stop calling shit EPIC just because it has bad cartoons in it. (CGI rendered crap that doesn't look or move remotely realistic and takes all those who have a brain instantly out of the film)


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