Bob Doto [Film Festival 04.30.10] movie review drama romance



Year: 2010
Directors: Ashley Horner
Writers: Sean Conway
IMDB: link
Trailer: link
Review by: Bob Doto
Rating: 4 out of 10

BRILLIANTLOVE tells the story of Manchester (Liam Browne) and Noon (Nancy Trotter Landry)—two super insignificant hipster twenty-somethings—who are madly in love with one another, have sex every five seconds, live in a garage in a dilapidated countryside, steal from the local grocer who’s just trying to make a living, and say the word “pussy” a lot. So, what you’ve got here is a film about bourgeois gentrifiers, stealing from the working class, as they try far too hard to be “real” and intense while they look for their next pair of skinny jeans. In essence, they suck.


The plot is even more yawn-able: Boy-hipster takes silly and pretentious photos of his lover when she’s naked, when she’s sleeping, and when she’s taxiderming. (Did you know being a taxidermist is the trade de jour in the world of vacant coolery? Come to Brooklyn and we’ll take a little tour). One evening boy-hipster gets really drunk at a bar and leaves a role of his “brilliant photos” behind, when an art dealer (who happened to be hanging out at the same pub at the same time in the same lame town), finds the photos, and decides to make boy-hipster a superstar. But guess what??? Super stardom isn’t what it’s cracked up to be and poor poor boy-girl-hipster couple run into some hard times trying to make it through it all.

I honestly don’t know what to say about this film. It’s bad, and apparently no one let director Ashley Horner in on the joke: Watching pathetic wannabe artists experience suffering is just too anti-climactic. I never cared enough about these senseless characters to begin with to even revel in their misfortune. So why do I care what happens to them after they get all huge and stupid? The bottom line is: The world is an amazingly interesting place filled with magic, mystery, and misery. Boys with haircuts do not add to this.

So, in an effort to never let this happen again, here’s some advice to budding filmmakers that want to go this route:

1. Try not to make films about a fictitious character who makes art. The art will always look silly, because, guess what, it take some time and effort to make art worth writing home about. You can’t just whip some up for your little film.

2. Hipsters can only exist on screen if they are being portrayed as what NOT to be in the world.

3. People saying “pussy” in a serious, not entirely sexy way, sound insanely pretentious. Avoid this.

4. Cliché’s work best when you know you’re making one.

This film is getting panned left and right. Heed the warnings.

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bad dog (10 years ago) Reply

Oh my God this is the best review I've ever read. Nice work!

Anonymous (10 years ago) Reply

I'm glad to read someone that stomps on this genre, why do they even make films like that? Why do they dress like that? What is their major malfunction? Curling parents?

wa5 (10 years ago) Reply

When do the Zombies make an entrance?

Ben Austwick (10 years ago) Reply

Ha ha brilliant stuff Bob, God I hate films like this. And spot on with point 1.

donc48 (10 years ago) Reply

I think this train wreck and others like it is the result of a filmmaker trying to hard to be hip and trendy, and with out a clear vision what they want to accomplish.

The art house movie market used to be a place where you could find little gems the big boys overlooked. Now it seems to be the domain of movies about rebels without a clue, rom cons that try to hard to be cute and irreverent, or souls agonizing about this and that.

I would add a number five to your advice. When all else fails send in Zombies or Vampires, trying to get into the pants of teenaged girls, a sure fire way to stir things up.

Anonymous (10 years ago) Reply

If they handed out pulitzers for common sense, you sir would be a recipient. Draft 'em I say. Draft 'em all.

projectcyclops (10 years ago) Reply

This sounds like the kind of film that makes me want to start slapping myself repeatedly in my own face. Thanks for the warning Bob.

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