Potential New Story Help

[iamdavidbyrne]

I am gearing up to write my next feature length screenplay. And, since everyone has been quick to comment on my already written scripts I thought I would pick your brains about my new story idea which I am writing to be animated. I guess this would serve almost like a focus group to see if the group thinks this would make a great story.

The working title is currently "Suzaku".

Logline:

Suzaku is a small robot that is awakened after 40 years and must confide with Akio, a young orphan boy, as they try and save their world.

Setting:

The story would take place in the year 2540 AD in the steampunk future of New Tokyo and its war ravaged outskirts.

Background:

In the year 2500 AD in an underground military base, Master Robot Builder, Toshiro, has been ordered to build an army of Minotaur Robots for the ruthless dictator, General Rai. The Minotaurs are towering robots programmed for destruction and domination. In Toshiro's spare time and under a veil of secrecy, he manages to build Suzaku, a small robot. In Japanese lore, the suzaku is a legendary red bird which guards us from evil and brings us fortune. After a surprise inspection, General Rai finds Toshiro working on Suzaku and attacks him, but is quickly stopped when an evacuation is sounded. Left to die, Toshiro manages to gather strength to escape before the base is bombed, but not before setting Suzaku’s start up for 40 years in the future and programming the code, “Find the Master Builder”.

Storyline:

It is the year 2540 A.D. War still wages and Rai and his army rule the land. Suzaku wakes up and fights his way to the top of the military base and finds only a wasteland. He starts walking and finds the remains of a small town. He hears a noise which turns out to be Akio, a thirteen year old boy, who is hiding from a group of bullies. Suzaku protects Akio and tags along. All of the boys live in an orphanage in the abandon town. Akio wants to know more about Suzaku, who explains his mission. The next morning they sneak out and begin their quest to “Find the Master Builder”.

Inspirations:

I have been drawing inspiration from:

spaghetti westerns like "How the West Was Won"
anime like "Howl's Moving Castle" & "Spirited Away"
"Star Wars IV: A New Hope"


Well that is what I have so far. I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

Thanks,

David

[quietearth]

I love it, just don't make it a kiddy story!

[iamdavidbyrne]

I am definitely trying to stay away from the kiddy element which I feel this story could easily veer towards, but here are some pictures that I have found surfing the web and I am using them for my brainstorming.

Here is what I see New Tokyo looking like with some more Japanese influence:




I see the Minotaur Robots being a cross between these two pictures:





And I see Suzaku being somewhat of a cross between these two, but with more flares of red since the suzaku is suppose to be a red bird.





I see the surrounding, outlying areas where Suzaku finds Aki looking like this, but much more desolate and war torn:

[agentorange]

This sounds awesomely epic muchacho. Gotta say I'm impressed.... I'd read that story and I'd watch that movie.

There's also a bit of Hellboy 2's Golden Army in there too except with a scifi spin rather than a fantasy spin.